Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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