We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
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Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
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I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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