WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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