she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
