so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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