no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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