Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
