when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
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Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
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Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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