Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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