Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
