No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
