Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
