I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
