Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
