k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
