she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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