What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
