i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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