At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
