Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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