before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
