"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
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I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
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What drink are we having for lunch?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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