i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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