If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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