He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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