Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
