I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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