I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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