Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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