so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
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Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
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Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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