i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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