put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I didn't notice because vodka
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
