Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just google imaged poop.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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