My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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