I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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