can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's shark week go big or go home
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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