Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
