I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
