friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
