We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
