Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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