We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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