i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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