Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
