What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
