and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
