that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
