I hate all girls vehemently.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
