i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
