My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
