You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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