its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
