I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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