You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
