Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
