Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
