New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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